Why'd You Make me Dissect a Worm?!?

Written on the occasion of the DT administration "pausing" the CDC's reports and health communications.

Converted to grayscale from original, by SchoolPRPro on Pixabay

Dear Independent Fundamental Baptists and evangelicals who raised me,

If science is not to be trusted, then what was with requiring me to take science classes in your Christian schools? For that matter, why offer science classes—and majors, even—at all? Did you not worry that you were corrupting the impressionable young people in your classrooms by filling their heads with all that science talk? Much less (gasp) sending them out into "the world," to become...ya know, scientists?

If COVID doesn't really exist and the pandemic is a hoax, then why did I spend hours of my life that I'll never get back learning about the cell (that's what we call the building block of all living organisms, in case you've forgotten) in the required Biology 101? Why the hell did my classmates and I dissect a worm, for crying out loud?

(If you're more upset about my off-brand use of the word "hell" in the previous paragraph than you are about hypocrisy within your own ranks, if not within your own self, then, dude...you have entirely lost the plot. Feel free to remind yourself of how Jesus felt about hypocrisy. You know, "whitewashed tombs," "brood of vipers," et al. Yeah, he wasn't a fan.)

If face masks don't reduce the transmission of communicable diseases, then why did we learn about what happens when you place cells in a petri dish? 

If scientists are godless agents of Satan, then what is one to make of all the Christian scientists, like the ones who taught those classes? I mean, one of them told us that Johannes Kepler said that to study astronomy was to "think God's thoughts after him." Would that teacher get fired for repeating that quote in one of your classrooms today?

Or—and I'm (not) going out on a limb here...are you just cherry picking the science you "like" and rejecting the science that's, shall we say, inconvenient? 

Perhaps this should never have surprised me. It's how you treat the Bible, after all.