Things That (Can) Help Depression

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Yesterday Cameron Kasky (one of the organizers of the March For Our Lives) tweeted that he hasn't been as active lately because he's been "struggling with depression and anxiety in a stronger form than [he's] ever seen it." I responded supportively, including saying that I know firsthand how debilitating depression can be. @Jennife42049695 replied and asked if I had any advice for managing depression.

I thought long and hard before replying. Because...I still live with depression. It's not like I've conquered it or anything. But today during my lunch hour, I sat down to write a careful reply.

Also, as it turns out...today is World Mental Health Day. I'd already thought about sharing my reply here; once I learned what today was, I knew I had to.

So...here's (an edited version of) what I told Jennifer, in case it's helpful to anyone listening in:

As you may know, depression generally isn't like: get depressed, do X to fix it, and then everything’s better. It doesn't tend to work like that.

Having said that, there are some things I suggest, because I find them helpful (not necessarily in this order):

1. Figure out who in your life can and will—and who can’t or won’t—be able to handle hearing your pain, will hold space for it, and will give you empathy. Then when you share (if you share), do it only with the former.
    
2.  Find community with others who are living the "same" experience. It can be incredibly validating to hear others say “me too!” When I've felt the need to, I've attended a Depression and Bipolar Alliance support group.
    
3. Refuse to beat yourself up for resting when you’re too exhausted to do anything. If you don’t have the energy, you don’t have the energy—period. That does not mean you’re lazy.
    
4. If you're able to, get medical advice. If you have to start with a general practitioner, be sure to ask for a referral to a specialist. (Most general practitioners aren’t taught much about psychology.) There's zero shame in taking medication for depression. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If it helps balance the chemistry in your brain and makes you feel better, then—it helps, period.
    
5. Find an integrative medicine doctor (separate from #4), get an integrative health consult, and do as many of the things they suggest as possible.
    
6. Related to #5: Try as many “alternative” things as possible until you figure out what helps you. Even if you're skeptical about them. As long as you believe you'll remain safe, there's generally no harm in trying them. I’m talking about things like yoga, massage, acupuncture, reiki, meditation, etc. I believe all of those have helped me at least a little. And—I’m still trying things.
    
7. If you haven't already, figure out what kind(s) of music make you feel joyful, and listen to it when you're especially down (and even when you're not). This has a measurable health benefit.
    
8. When you feel up to it, get out in nature and enjoy the beauty. This also has a measurable health (specifically mental health!) benefit. 

If you struggle with depression, what do you think of the things on my list? What helps you? Post a comment and let me know.

Humility and Van Cliburn (R.I.P.)

The world lost a musical giant last week. Van Cliburn (July 12, 1934 - February 27, 2013) will forever be known for winning the very first International Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow in 1958 (at the height of the Cold War, no less). When he returned to the United States, he was honored in New York City with a ticker tape parade. He is the only classical musician, indeed the only solo musician of any genre, to be honored in that way.

Not long after his win, he recorded Tchiakovsky's First Piano Concerto, and that album became the first classical music album in chart history to sell a million copies. To date it has sold over 3 million.

Van's first piano teacher was his mother, Rildia Bee O'Bryan Cliburn. She was taught by Arthur Friedheim, who was a student of Franz Liszt. Franz Liszt.

Oh and his other accomplishments? They're pretty impressive, too.

But what might be the most impressive thing about Van Cliburn is his humility. Though honors flooded his way, he shirked the attention. He viewed himself as a servant in the cause of classical music. Richard Rodzinski, who presided over the The Van Cliburn International Piano Competition for 20 years, related that Cliburn took the word ("servant") seriously and said, "He feels he is serving the purpose of being able to bring beautiful music as he sees it, from his garden to an audience." In 2011 Cliburn returned to the Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow for the first time since his 1958 victory, this time to serve as an honorary judge. He sincerely asked his friends, "Do you really think they'll remember me?" He was mobbed in the streets.

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Dear Van: Thank you for serving. Thank you for serving the cause of classical music. Thank you for bringing your magnificent playing to the world. Your playing delights me. Your humility inspires me....Rest in peace.

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Sources for this post:
The Van Cliburn Foundation's biography
Remembering Van Cliburn, A Giant Among Pianists And A Cold War Idol by NPR's Bill Zeeble