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| One of my favorites of the shots I took in 2013. |
At the end of 2012, I talked about the good things I'd accomplished that year. This post will be more about the significant things that happened during 2013, whether they were good or...not so. The year was...rather eventful, on both sides.
Starting even before 2013 and lasting through April was uncertainty about whether I'd be retaining my job. My company was converting a bunch of contract positions (one of which I was in), but each contractor had to apply and interview for their own job. Fortunately, I was hired as a full-time employee in April.
In January I started dating. If you know me and are shocked to hear this, it's because we didn't tell a lot of people. There were some legitimate reasons for that, not the least of which is that we met at work (and at first were even in the same department) and didn't want it to be a big deal there. The relationship held real long-term promise...I thought...until May, when I was dumped (by Facebook message, 3 days before my birthday).
After that happened, I realized that here I am, 44 years old, and I've never been in a significant relationship where the official dating portion lasted any longer than about 6 months. A fact that frankly kicks my ass. You can bet this is a subject I'll be bringing up in therapy, which I intend to start again this year.
Also happening during the first few months of the year was a health scare
that I won't detail. Suffice it to say I feared I might have
breast cancer. Turned out it was just a scare, but gawd, was that
stressful.February brought the devastating news that my doctor, Dr. Joseph "Doc Joe" Franz, had passed away. He was more than a doctor to me; he was like family. I still miss him and always will.
In April and June I enjoyed Camp Widow East and West.
The photo on the right represents a bit of a triumph for me. I'd gotten that gorgeous dress—the first time I'd worn a fancy dress to a Camp Widow banquet. (The other times I wore either a casual dress or a fancy top—one of which you see in the photo on the left—with dressy pants.) Anyway, I worried that this dress would accentuate certain parts of myself that I didn't exactly what to highlight. So I'd brought a black wrap to wear with it. But when I was otherwise ready to go to the banquet, I thought...forget it. I'm just going to go in this dress. And own it. And that's what I did.I mean, this is the body I have. And it ain't all bad. And—maybe it'd be good if I loved it a little more. But, having said all that...I've seen other pictures of myself from that night (the ones where I forgot to suck in my gut, if I'm being perfectly honest with you), and...I can't help it: I don't like some of what I see. Clearly, I still struggle with this body image thing, and one moment of "owning it" doesn't change that. I mean: how do you love your body and still wish you could change parts of it at the same time? But—I digress...a topic for another time.
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Also at Camp Widow West, I gave free makeup applications for the banquet to 2 people whose names we drew out of a hat. And I bought this necklace, personalized with Ron's initials:
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| Some of the members of SSCO |
In August I joined my other siblings in traveling to Minnesota to help our sister Becky celebrate her (milestone) birthday. Without a doubt the best moment was when she opened her gift from us—a new laptop!In September, on the anniversary of Ron's passing, I hosted a virtual event in his honor. On Facebook and Widowed Village I asked my widowed friends to share the story of how their life was changed by having their loved one in it, along with a photo of the two of them. I was simply blown away by all of the amazing stories. If you want to be moved and inspired, click on the picture below (and scroll down past the event description). Long Live Love.
Later that month, on a Friday night after work, I drove to New Jersey to attend a weekend-long widowed gathering hosted by my friend Arnie (on the left, below). I had a bit of an adventure in that I didn't find his street until around 2AM and couldn't find his house at all, so I got a hotel room for that night. But overall the weekend was a blast, and I'm glad I went. There's nothing like the bond between widowed people, and I try to experience it as often as I'm able to.
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In October I met Rachel Held Evans, a Christian author and blogger that I've admired for a long time. She spoke at a church in Louisville, KY, which is the closest she's been since I became a fan, so I drove there to hear her speak and meet her. (Apparently, long, solo car trips are what I do now. 'Course I don't do them because I love the "solo" part but because I want to do whatever it is, and I'm not letting the solo part stop me. And—it's nice to know..."I can do this!") After I tweeted her links to the pictures I'd taken and to my post about meeting her (above), she retweed it, and that post quickly became my most-read post of all time—by a factor of at least 4. Amazing. The following Sunday, in her Sunday Superlatives post, she mentioned having met me, included a link to my post and this picture.December brought another sad loss. My uncle, Wayne Price, passed from this life, claimed by the cancer he suffered for nearly a year. Wayne was one of the kindest, most accepting, and most caring men I've ever known. He will surely be missed.
So there you have it—my 2013: some things I hope never happen again but also some things I'm glad happened. Here's hoping for an even better 2014.
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My favorite books I read during the year:
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My most popular posts of the year:
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Sounds like quite a year -- all kinds of hard and beautiful all smashed together. Like most of them are. Love your thoughtful analysis here.
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