Before he left this earth, Matthew Perry told us how he wanted to be remembered.In a live interview on the CBC podcast Q with Tom Power, he said:
The best thing about me, bar none, is if somebody comes up to me and says, "I can't stop drinking; can you help me?" I can say yes and follow up and do it. That's the best thing. And I've said this for a long time: When I die, I don't want Friends to be the first thing that's mentioned. I want that to be the first thing that's mentioned. And I'm going to live the rest of my life proving that.
In another already-widely-shared quote, he put it this way:
...but when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try to help other people.
I know it won't happen, but it would be nice.
And on that last point—sadly, he was right.
I'm sure I haven't seen nearly all the news articles announcing his death (indeed, doubtless there are way too many to find, much less wade through, them all). But I've seen many. And not a single one of them has done anything but name Friends either quickly after his name or in some cases even before his name. Here's a sampling:
ABC
headline: Matthew Perry, star of 'Friends,' dies at 54: Sources
first sentence of voiceover: Actor Matthew Perry, best known for his
portrayal of Chandler Bing on the ‘90s sitcom Friends, was found dead at his
Pacific Palisades home in Los Angeles on Saturday.
BBC
headline: Friends star Matthew Perry dies at 54
first sentence of article: US actor Matthew Perry, best known for playing wisecracking Chandler Bing in the hit '90s TV sitcom Friends, has died at the age of 54.
CBC
headline: Friends actor Matthew Perry dead at 54
subhead: Ottawa-raised actor portrayed Chandler Bing in hit sitcom
first sentence of article: Friends star Matthew Perry, the Emmy-nominated actor whose sarcastic, but lovable Chandler Bing was among television's most famous and most quotable characters, has died at 54.
Deadline
headline: Matthew Perry Dies: ‘Friends’ Actor Was 54
first sentence of article: Matthew Perry, best known for his role as Chandler Bing on Friends, has died.
I can't help but wonder why (seemingly) none of the many outlets who reported his tragic, way-too-soon death could bring themselves to fulfill his stated desire. The CBC, at least, knew about it. As mentioned above, he uttered that very desire on one of their podcasts, an episode that's also available on YouTube. And he mentioned that he'd been saying it for a long time. So—it was known.
And it's not like any of us need to be told that Matthew Perry played Chandler Bing on Friends. In the annals of global, monster-hit, always-on-somewhere TV shows, Friends is near or at the very top. So that, too, was known.
To be clear, there have been articles written about this stated desire of his, but they've only come after the straight news pieces that announced his death.
I just wonder what would be wrong, exactly, with writing a first-report news story in a way that fulfilled that desire, that put his accomplishments as a human being and a helper of fellow addicts first and his Friends (and other acting) work "far behind" that. If it's a journalism thing: are the rules of news-article writing so sacrosanct that we can't bend or even break them in a case where we all know who he was and the highlights of his acting work?
And what does it say about our culture that we put noting his acting career or journalistic tradition ahead of how he said he wanted to be remembered?
None of this is to take anything away from his acting career. Clearly, he was a star for a reason. He was a comedic genius who made millions of people laugh. Consistently, over the entire course of a long-running show (and while he was battling addiction, no less). As Matt LeBlanc
said of him, "Matthew Perry is so razor sharp and smart and inventive and knows right where the funny is." Matthew also had dramatic chops, though they were less renowned.
But—he told us how he wanted to be remembered.
* * *
Dear Matthew: Never did I dream that I would ever feel compelled to write an article reporting your death. But here we are. And while clearly, I write occasionally, I am not a journalist. So—this is me, doing my best:
Dateline October 28. 2023
Matthew Perry, sober living sponsor and advocate, died today. He was found unresponsive in a hot tub at his Pacific Palisades, CA, home. As of this writing, autopsy results are inconclusive; toxicology work continues. The LAPD do not suspect foul play. Perry was 54.
Throughout the majority of his life, Perry suffered from alcoholism and addiction to various drugs, a struggle he detailed with remarkable candor in his memoir Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, published just last year.
As a result of his experiences, Perry developed a passion for helping others who struggled as he did. The actions Perry took toward that end include co-founding a sober living house in his former Malibu mansion, called Perry House. (He later sold the facility when continuing to run it became too expensive, but remained committed to the idea.)
Perry also testified before Congress on behalf of the National Association of Drug Court Professionals to support funding for drug courts, which focus on treatment as opposed to punishment for addicts. The NADCP is part of an nonprofit called All Rise, which called Perry "an ardent champion for treatment courts who gave freely of his time and energy to support treatment court funding on Capitol Hill and express his gratitude to treatment court professionals...."
In 2013 the Obama administration's Office of National Drug Control Policy honored Perry with its Champion of Recovery award for his advocacy as well as for his openness about his addiction and recovery.
In an interview with CBC's Tom Power, Perry stated that he received the same amount of gratification, which he called "the same juice," from speaking to large crowds about sobriety as he did from helping people one-on-one. One of the people Perry helped to get sober was his good friend Hank Azaria. In a video posted to Instagram, Azaria said of Perry, "As a sober person, he was so caring and giving and wise, and he totally helped me get sober. And I really wish he could've found it in himself to stay with the sober life more consistently."
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Perry spoke out in favor of the vaccine, and he launched a limited-edition apparel line, the proceeds of which went to the World Health Organization's COVID-19 relief fund.
Perry had many film and TV roles to his credit, most famously Chandler Bing on Friends.
